Torture for life

What would u do when u find out that the person u loved once upon a time has made a contract to torture u for the rest of ur life.

Maybe its not him, but definetly an exact copy

tried forgetting, it never went off my mind

tried hatting him, ended up loving him more

left the country to start a new page, but it made me stay all night thinking when will i come back

tried loving someone else, i couldnt find any place in my heart

Nothing is left, EXCEPT DEATH

I am stuck in this dark room of his and i dont know who is that great person who is gonna get me out

Its hard to love but easy to hate, to me its the opposite

I went to someone who is really close, but even she was confused and didnt no wat to do

I think its all in me but i need the bravery and passion to do it

I need to lock my self out of the darkness and fly in the free land of Allah

I need to make sure not even a single person gets harmed coz of this

I need to recognize that he is in another place and looks do not make me hate someone innocent

I need someone to push me and rebuild the passion and bravery in me to face the real life of my love.